


Never Have I Ever

by padaholic_316



Category: Lethal Weapon (TV)
Genre: Author Is Bad at Deadlines, Be The Lethal Weapon Fanfiction You Wish To See In The World, Bowman wasn’t a tag already? really? okay, Comforting Roger, Comforting Team, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Riggs, Language, Mentions of Past Torture, Non-graphic description of torture, Well obviously, but still, just wanted to be safe, that’s the only reason it’s rated M, there is not enough fanfic in this fandom it makes me sad, this is Riggs we’re talking about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 21:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13303941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padaholic_316/pseuds/padaholic_316
Summary: “Naw, that’s not it,” Roger dismissed, not noticing how Riggs’ jaw began to tick. “C’mon, man, I know it must’ve been embarrassing if you don’t wanna talk about it! You’ve been an open book about all the MANY times you’ve almost died before, why is this one so different?”In which a friendly drinking game gets a bit too personal, Roger won’t let it go, and Riggs winds up revealing way more than he intended to.





	1. Scatter In The Wind

**Author's Note:**

> WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE FIC IN THIS FANDOM UGH 
> 
> ...anyways...
> 
> Lethal Weapon has inspired me to write as of late with a fervor only matched by when I discovered MacGyver last year (wait, has it actually been 2 years now? 1 1/2? Idk I can’t math) and Supernatural in 2013. I am currently working on multiple stories in each of those fandoms, so as soon as my personal life calms down a little, you can definitely expect more posting from me. 
> 
> Chapter titles will both be lyrics from Brandi Carlile’s new song The Joke, which, if you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend looking it up and listening. Incredibly powerful song. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This is a complete and total work of fiction. Lethal Weapon is owned by FOX, and none of the characters are mine, although I would like to borrow Riggs for a while if that’s okay with... no? ...okay, never mind, not gonna happen apparently.

 

 

 

 

> • 

“Okay, okay,” Roger laughed, waving his hand (the one not holding the beer) to get his friends’ attention. “Never have I ever... been part of a threesome.” He stared intently at Riggs, who waited a full ten seconds before picking up his beer (which was already half-gone) and taking a swig.

“HA!” Roger exclaimed, pointing at Riggs gleefully. “I KNEW it!!! It was when you were in the Navy, wasn’t it? Shore leave?” he asked suggestively, waggling his eyebrows, which drew snickers from Bailey and Bowman, the latter of whom was red in the face from either bashfulness or embarrassment about the topic.

Riggs nodded, smiling wistfully as he leaned back in his chair, locking his fingers behind his head. “What can I say?” he sighed. “The ladies love a man in uniform.”

Suddenly, Bailey cleared her throat. “Um, guys, you do know Riggs wasn’t the only one who drank for that, right?”

Silence reigned for a long moment - well, as close to silence as they were gonna get in the middle of one of the most popular cop bars in LA.

Riggs was the one to break it. “You know, thinking about it, I’m not all that surprised,” he mused, resting his chin on his hand and gazing at Bailey thoughtfully. “You seem open-minded, adventurous... yeah, it kinda fits.”

Bailey took a second to process that. “I... honestly don’t know whether to be flattered or offended, Riggs,” she finally replied, narrowing her eyes at the man suspiciously.

“I think he meant it as a compliment,” Roger offered, Riggs nodding his agreement. Bailey just shrugged and rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her Guinness.

“You...” Bowman stammered, his face getting even redder when his partner met his gaze. “You’ve had a... a threesome?”

“Yes,” Bailey replied slowly, as if talking to a small child. “Does that bother you?”

“No!” Bowman immediately cried, reddening impossibly further. “No, no, not at all!!! I just - just, uh, I didn’t - didn’t know that, um, about you, I mean, uh -“

Riggs was cackling by this point, and Roger decided to try and spare the kid. “All right, all right, let’s give the man a break and move on, shall we?”

“Aw, Rog -“ Riggs started to protest between chuckles, but a glare and a warning growl of “Riggs” from his partner caused him to sigh, “Oh, you’re no fun,” and try and pull himself together.

“Bowman, you’re next,” Bailey said, looking like she was trying to stifle some giggles herself.

“Ooh, I got a good one,” Bowman quickly replied, clearly overly eager to move on from the previous topic of conversation, to the point that it almost set Riggs off again - only another stern glance from Roger kept him quiet.

“Never have I ever...” Bowman started, pausing for a second before finishing with a grin, “been high.”

Cue moaning and groaning from both Bailey, who had always been open about her less-than-stellar (and somewhat rebellious) childhood, meaning everyone at the table knew she’d smoked weed in the past, and Riggs, for obvious reasons. As both of them went to drink, though, Roger interjected with a question.

“Does accidentally count?”

Which was met with a resounding _“YES!”_ from Riggs and Bailey.

“Dammit,” Roger muttered, cursing Cousin Connie and her damned medicinal marijuana gummy bears as he took a swig from his bottle of Sam Adams. He wasn’t actually annoyed - it was just a friendly game, so he didn’t really care that much. Plus, it was really good beer. But. Gotta keep up appearances, and all that. He couldn’t have his coworkers thinking he’d gone soft in his old age, or anything else ridiculous like that that Riggs might think up to rib him with. 

“You only picked that because you knew it would make everyone else drink, you bastard,” Bailey accused, one corner of her mouth quirking up in a grin to let her partner know she wasn’t actually mad. (Otherwise, Bowman would probably take her literally.) “And you haven’t had to drink for a single one of these yet!”

Bowman just shrugged. “Sorry,” he said in a very unapologetic tone, taking a sip of his own nearly-full beer. Huh. Maybe the kid was learning.

“And now it’s my turn,” Bailey mused, thinking for a second before bolting upright. “I’ve got it!” she exclaimed, pointing at Bowman excitedly. “Never have I ever almost drowned!”

“Oh, come on!” Bowman whined. “You only picked that to get back at me because I _just_ told you yesterday how I almost drowned as a kid!”

“You almost drowned?” Roger inquired, wondering why that would be something to talk so light-heartedly about.

“Yeah, but I don’t even really remember it,” Bowman replied, taking the obligatory gulp of beer before continuing. “I was two at the time. Big sister left me unattended on the porch, I toddled over to the pool and fell in. Dad was coming out onto the porch, saw it happen and grabbed me as quick as he could, but I was under long enough that I inhaled some water and they had to take me to the doctor to make sure I was okay. I was fine, but my parents were freaked, and my sister was guilty as hell. I didn’t remember the incident itself, still don’t, but I never liked swimming... and I never knew why, until Mom told me that story, once I was twelve and already a proficient swimmer, from being forced to take lessons at the local lake. So I can swim fine now if I need to, but I’ll never like it. Something about it still...” Bowman shook his head a little, taking another sip of his Corona. “Still feels wrong.”

“Yeah, I feel that,” Bailey replied, after a moment of quiet where everyone sipped their beers and Roger signaled for another round. “I got bit by a dog when I was, like, one and a half. Not badly, but still. Never liked dogs growing up, and never knew why until my mom told me years later. I don’t mind them now, but I’ll never get one myself.”

“Okay, before we get too off topic,” Roger interjected, “I wanna know why Riggs drank for that last one, and tried not to let any of us notice. You’ve almost drowned, Riggs?”

Riggs froze, and for a split second Roger thought he saw a flash of fear in the man’s eyes. But then his usual cocky grin was back. “Yeah, but I don’t remember it, either. Almost exactly like Bowman, actually - I was three, fell in a pond, mom snatched me out, don’t remember a thing. So, that means it’s my turn, right? Never have I ev-“

“Woah, woah, woah, hold up,” Roger cut him off, leaning forward. “You’re lying!”

Riggs sputtered incredulously, but there was that barely-there flash of fear again. “What? No I’m not, why would I lie abou-“

“Riggs, I’ve been your partner for long enough now to know when you’re lying,” Roger insisted. “And that? You were lyin’ through your teeth! What, is it embarrassing?” Roger gasped, thinking he had it figured out. “Ooh, I bet it’s REALLY embarrassing! Come on, Riggs, what happened? Were you, like, drunk or high off your ass or something? Is that it?”

Riggs laughed nonchalantly. “Yeah, something like that.” But there was still something off - Riggs was emanating nervous energy, and clearly trying (and failing) to hide it. “Come on, Rog, lemme have my turn already! Never have-“

“Naw, that’s not it,” Roger dismissed, not seeing how Riggs’ jaw began to tick. “C’mon, man, I know it must’ve been embarrassing if _you_ don’t wanna talk about it! You’ve been an open book about all the MANY times you’ve almost died before, why is this one so different? Did you not learn how to swim until really late, or something?” Riggs was clenching his jaw shut fiercely now, trembling with the effort of trying to ignore his partner, and Bailey was shaking her head, whispering harshly, “Murtaugh, let it go,” but Roger just laughed, oblivious to the hints his friends were trying so hard to give him. “Oh, come on, Bailey, I know you guys wanna know too! Riggs, you know I’m not gonna let this go until you tell us, so you might as w-”

And just like that, Riggs snapped. “Fine, Rog!” he hissed, slamming his beer bottle on the table, startling all three of his friends. “You wanna know the truth, _fine!_ Will that make you happy? You wanna hear ALL about how when I was in Afghanistan as a SEAL, I got captured once and they tortured me for information for a fucking _week_? And how one of the _MANY_  oh-so-pleasant things they did was waterboard me, hence the almost drowning? And thank you SO much, by the way,” he added with a crazed grin, “for making me re-live those _super_ _fun_ memories.” He stood up with a lurch, chair screeching on the floor as he grinned maniacally at Roger, clearly holding on by a thread - one on the verge of snapping.

The bar around them had quieted.

“Are ya happy now, Rog?” Riggs demanded, throwing his arms out to the sides, crazy smile offset by the anger blazing in his eyes. 

But when all his partner could do was shake his head, all three of his friends staring at him in shocked horror, he visibly deflated, bowing his head and sighing heavily. “I need some air,” he muttered, turning and heading toward the back door of the bar. 

“I didn’t... Riggs-“ Roger started, trying to reach out and grab his partner’s arm, only to be stopped by Bailey grabbing his. 

“Give him some space for a minute,” she murmured. Roger watched helplessly as Riggs strode out into the cold night air, a gust of wind slamming the door shut behind him. 

• 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit-by-a-dog story Bailey tells is actually taken partially from my own life -- when I was one, my nana had a beagle that had never been aggressive before and never was again, but decided to bite the head of one-year-old me, hard enough to bruise but not to draw blood. I have never remembered this incident, only been told about it by my parents, but growing up, I was always scared of dogs, just instinctually, and was never sure why until I was around 12, and my mom told me this story - AFTER we had gotten our first dog, Max, who was sweet and gentle and unconditionally loving, and I’d already fallen head-over-heels in love with him. Max pretty much cured me of my dog-aversion, though; unlike Bailey, I’d love to have one of my own someday.
> 
> Also, the names of the beers were chosen completely at random. I am of legal drinking age, and I do have a drink occasionally, but I don’t like beer and know virtually nothing about it. XD


	2. Joke’s On Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how sometimes you set a deadline and you’re like “yes, this is a very reasonable deadline, I should not have any problem meeting it” and then that irritating thing called Real Life comes along, kicks you in the figurative nuts and shouts, “Hahaha, NOPE!!!!” Well, that’s been my month. This second half/chapter was on hold for a little while I dealt with those annoying Real Life issues, but it is FINALLY done. Enjoy!

•

When Roger finally went outside five very long minutes later (the longest Bailey had been able to placate him into waiting), he found Riggs sitting a little ways from the door against the wall of the bar, legs splayed out, head leaning back on the wall, eyes closed.

Roger, already lamenting the stains he’d have to get out of his nice work clothes, slid down the wall next to his partner and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Hey,” he said softly, glancing over at Riggs, who hadn’t moved.

“Hey, Rog,” Riggs sighed a moment later, eyes still closed.

The two sat silently for a minute, until Roger noticed that Riggs had stormed outside without a coat in the middle of a January cold snap - it couldn’t have been more than 40 degrees. Now, normally in a moment like this, Roger would do one of two things: either he’d ridicule, badger and pester Riggs until he put a damn coat on, or he’d roll his eyes at his partner’s crazy and let it go. But as this was a rather delicate situation, Roger simply asked quietly, “Want me to run in and get your coat?”

Riggs snorted softly. “That’s sweet, Rog, but I think I’ll be okay,” he replied, the usual mocking tone that typically accompanied such a comment from his partner conspicuously absent. “I’ll head back inside in a minute.”

Roger nodded, then hesitated a moment before asking, “You know you could’ve just lied, right? Not drank? For something like this, man... nobody would’ve blamed you. You know that, right?”

In response, Riggs sighed again, more heavily this time. “Yeah, I know, just-“ He ran his hand through his hair agitatedly, opening his eyes for the first time since Roger had joined him to glance over at his partner, then staring out aimlessly into the dark parking lot in front of them. “It was kinda instinctual, honestly,” he continued, crossing his arms over his chest. Roger couldn’t tell if it was a subconsciously defensive move or if the man was just cold. “As soon as Bailey said ‘almost drowned’, my subconscious brain was like, ‘Hey, yeah, you’ve done that, that means you have to drink,’ but consciously I was freakin’ out enough from the memories that... I didn’t even realize what I was doing. Didn’t even really mean to do it. And until you called me out on it, I thought for a minute there that I’d gotten away with it without anyone noticing.”

Roger winced. “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that, man-“

But his partner was already waving off his apology. “Don’t be,” Riggs replied with an oddly gentle half-grin. “There’s no way you could’ve known.”

“No, I should’ve realized you were uncomfortable,” Roger insisted. “Bailey was shaking her head at me, you clearly wanted to change the subject-“

“Roger,” Riggs cut him off. “It’s okay. You didn’t know, and I don’t blame you.”

Now Roger is the one to sigh. “Well, you should,” he muttered under his breath, only to get his arm shoved lightly by his partner. He rolled his eyes, but let it go (like he should have in the first place).

After another short while of just sitting and being with each other, Riggs began to quietly speak. “They did a whole lotta shit to me in the eight days they had me,” he began, still facing forward rather than looking at Roger. “They wanted intel, so they didn’t hold back. Whips, knives, electrocution, burns, pliers, just plain beatin’ me up... but the waterboarding...” He paused, running his fingers through his hair again, pushing it back off his forehead. “That was the worst. ‘Cause everything else, it hurt, hurt like hell, like it was s’posed to, but I can handle the pain, like I can deal with it, I’d dealt with pain before, you know? But - well, with that-“ He flinched minutely before plowing on, “That was the only thing that actually made me - afraid. Of not making it out of there, of - of telling them something, to get them to stop. Every time they did it. Every single goddamn time, I-“ He sighed shakily before finishing in a low whisper, “I thought I might break. Or die.” He scoffed out a laugh, a short, sharp sound without any humor. “I think I was more afraid of breaking and telling ‘em shit than I was of dying, honestly.”

For several seconds, Roger had no clue how to respond, other than feeling honored that his partner had decided to really open up to him, and at the same time absolutely horrified at what the man had had to go through. He finally decided that words would be insufficient anyways, and simply put an arm around Riggs’ shoulders.

Riggs tensed at the contact, but after a second, Roger’s decision was proven to be the right one when the younger man slumped and leaned over into his partner, letting his head rest on Roger’s shoulder in an unprecedented display of trust and vulnerability.

Roger, wisely, simply let it happen.

•

Fifteen minutes after Riggs’ initial exit, and ten minutes after Roger’s, Bailey was just about to head out and check on them when the bar’s back door opened, revealing Riggs’ familiar mop of overly-long brown hair.

“There they are,” she said to Bowman, jerking her head in the duo’s direction. Knowing her partner was too nervous to handle this situation correctly, as evidenced by his paling as the two men approached, she ordered, “Let me handle this.” Bowman immediately nodded in deferment, looking relieved that he wouldn’t have to be the one to figure out what to say to Riggs.

When the two men got to the table, Bailey immediately started in, before they could even sit down. “Okay, Riggs, so here’s the deal,” she began, startling Riggs into stillness. “First off, I don’t wanna hear any goddamn apologies, okay? You’ve been through some awful shit, clearly, and the fact that you’ve been through that shit is not your fault. The fact that it accidentally got brought out into the open tonight is not your fault. So no sorries, got it?” Riggs nodded mutely, eyes wide. “Second, before you go gettin’ any dumb ideas about us lookin’ at you different now, don’t. We all already knew you had some ghosts, now we just know you’ve got some more that we didn’t know about. If anything, this actually helps explain your craziness a little more. And last, don’t go gettin’ any dumb-ass ideas about the night being ruined now, either. I’m perfectly willing to go back to the game, just pick up where we left off, if you are. Bowman, you’re cool with that, right?”

Bowman looked startled, but he did respond, “Yeah, of course,” quickly and sincerely, even giving Riggs a small smile.

Roger turned to Riggs, who still looked stunned. “Whatever you wanna do, man,” he said with a shrug. “We can stay, or head out. What do you think?”

Riggs looked suspiciously misty-eyed, and the other three detectives pointedly looked away to give him a moment to wipe his eyes and pull his persona back together.

“I think,” he finally replied, plopping down at the table and grabbing the Miller that the waitress had replenished while he’d been gone, “that it’s my turn! Rog, you ARE actually gonna let me have my turn, right?” he teased as his partner took his seat beside him.

Roger sighed dramatically, going along with his friend and getting back into his own ‘long-suffering senior partner’ persona. “Yes, you can have your turn,” he grumbled, unable to keep one corner of his mouth from creeping up into a grin.

“Great!” And the disarming, cocky Riggs grin was back and brighter than ever.

“Never have I ever...”

•

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to end it in a way that shows how completely Riggs’ friends are there for him without any of them explicitly stating it, because that’s how (at least I hope) it would actually happen in the show. Hope you liked it, and as always, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! <3


End file.
